Almost 1am, about to go to sleep, I get to the kitchen sink
to realize there is a weird puddle on it; I know Miyo has been
doing the washing up and I start screaming at her that she has
made a lake on the wooden surface (like she often shouts at
me so I have to get my own back), 2 seconds later I horrify
when realizing that the water is actually leaking from the loft
upstairs, where the water cylinder is.
Miyo and I run upstairs to realize there is a valve sprinkling
water. We quickly dry up, put a container to receive the water
spillage, think about it for a few minutes, by this time it's
1.30am. we call the emergency plumber from the yellow pages.
The middle eastern sounding woman informs me of the lovely £180+VAT
per hour night fee and I can do nothing but agree to it. In
30 minutes I have a plumber at my doorstep. He gets quickly
upstairs, sits down, then drops his toolbox in disbelief.
The look of terror on his face.
he looks at us and says with a strong iraqi accent: "Who
did dis???"
Miyo and I look at him and say it was Ari, the plumber I got
recommended by my ex managing director ages ago, who did that.
He did that because when we renovated the flat we got him to
move the cylinder 4 meters away and when we asked him if we
could get rid of the big tank that was above it he says "yeah
sure there is this new system that is using a pressure vessel
thing it's much smaller i'll fit it in for you..." And
he did, for half a day's work and about £180 I think to
remember (he got the rate right). For the past 4 years living
at our place we never had a problem. We even had Liam and Louise,
Serene, Naoko, my brother, my parents, Andy, Katerina, Marco
and Sara, Jane and a few more people staying at our place from
as little as one night up to a month in time, and we never had
a problem...
But let's come back to our bewildered iraqui plumber, who keeps
muttering "Who did this?" ... "Who did this?"...
"This is Crazy.."
I ask him to give me an explaination as he's started to make
me anxious now...
"Your cylinder is a 'vented' hot water cyclinder"
he preaches looking at me with a scary look, "and that
like such it could never be treated like an 'unvented' cylinder".
I quickly understand what he means with a few diagrams on a
book: adding the pressure vessel that Ari added the system is
in danger as quite simply the pressure can get so high that
the cyclinder could explode, and there is no place for the pressure
to escape, should it mount too high.
Hussain (is the name of our saviour plumber), asks "How
long you had dis for?", I say must be 3 years at least,
he shakes his head even more and starts telling me stories of
houses that have blown up, roof and walls and flats below "kaboooom!",
he sounds like he knows about explosions, (being an iraqi and
thanks to Mr GW Bush) he knows about cylinders, set up by cowboy
plumbers like mine, that have taken out portions of buildings
with people in....because of a cyclinder exploding!
He literally tells me: "Guys, you are lucky you are still
alive! This cowboy has put your life at risk, the reason why
this has started leaking is probably because it is about to
explode, as the pressure inside is mounting... I have never
in my whole life seen anything life that... I am a qualified
plumber look (and he shows us his badge) I don't know who did
this but they played with your life, you could be dead, I am
scared myself... I'm gonna quickly stop this and turn this off
but you have to get somebody to change the cyclinder and put
an unvented proper one in.... you guys should be happy you are
still safe... this guy is crazy, crazy.... can I take a picture
to show my friends? You can sue him... sue him, you can take
him to court, this guy is a criminal... you could be dead..."
Miyo and me staring at his very genuine expression, and at his
anxious gestures, very different from the bored and sleepy ones
he had when he had gotten in 10 minutes earlier on a boring
night call.... our jaws are dropped... we are alive.
.. still.... ...
...a rain of bad worst case scenario zaps through our minds
at the speed of light....as we look at each other..... astonished...
then we decide to go to bed as it's almost 3am....
Ari has never answered the phone again since he did this job.
My ex managing director has disappeared under the witness protection
scheme 3 years ago.
Contact TITLE Contact TextMarco
Ammannati
22 Wheeler Gardens
N1 0UW London UK
tel+fax: 0044 (0) 20 78339310
mobile 0044 (0) 7984434039 marco@castorini.com
AIM: marcoammannati
SKYPE: marcoammannati
Bio TITLE Bio Text
Marco, italian,
born in Pisa, moves to Milan studies graphic design and works as art director
for Studio Michele De Lucchi and Vitamina; He moves to London in 1998 and works
at Neville Brody’s Research Studios for print, packaging, web, retail design
and branding for a wide portfolio of international clients until he gets passionate
about moving pictures, sets out as a freelance creative director, starts to direct
live action and decides that the years to follow won't be about eye candy but
succulent stories.
